Abandon all hope, the finals week is near. Pluck up all the courage you have, man up, and try not to forget everything you’ve learned this semester. For the year’s end turmoil ain’t taking no prisoners!
College means partying, right? Eh, nope. Playing hooky, keeping hands in pockets and putting studies in a cold storage the entire semester brought you what? Nothing but a state of panic so big a head is about to explode inside out. Why, WHY haven’t I studied harder? Would be a valid lesson. If you pass the finals, of course. Gotcha!
It’s not because you sleep too little or too bad. It’s all because you’re in a pre-examination stress. Anxiety and fatigue are always there, holding your hand and whispering in the ear, “Thou shalt not pass!” Fear of what’s coming for you next week frightens every tiny fiber of your soul asylum. But don’t worry, it’ll all pass. Just have to survive it, though.
Many a lofty matter will be pestering your brain. What is the meaning of life? A chicken or an egg? Why am I even studying Arts? Why am I such a goofy loser graduating in English Literature? How to say “I now may take your order, sirs,” in Spanish? Literally anything that could prevent you from hitting those textbooks hard.
When a brain works at ten tenths, your body needs a lot of energy. Consuming calories, mostly unhealthy ones, you let a brain to keep up with the workload. Adding extra pounds to your love handles or tushie after the finals is so common. Watch out for your diet during this time period! P.S. Whom are we kidding?! Add the bacon and make the cheese double, por favor!
Here’s a typical line of thinking of a professor’s scumbag brain. [With an evil laughter and a devilish grind] Students preparing for exams? Lemme assignment them with some essays! AAAAaaaaahhhaaaaahhhaaa! Yes, there’ll be essays to write even though an examination fortnight is around the corner. Too much for you to handle? Use essay writing services from GradeMiners. Delegating assignments feels so GOOD.
But not when it’s an exam essay, though! Some courses will require you to prepare an essay as a final part of the test. Haven’t I already done my share of essays? Oh no, friend, essays are the nightmare chasing you even if it’s been 5 years since you had graduated. Willy-nilly, an exam essay is musty-writy.
At first, living off of caffeine is life. That smell, that gusto, that kick! But before you could say Jack Robinson, the uplifting effect of coffee wears off in direct ratio to how much you get stocked on latte, espresso, Americano, and Red Bull. Chunk, chunk, chunk, MUST NEEDS MORE CAFFEINE!!! At the end of the day, it isn’t giving you any energy but insomnia.
You’re stressed, depressed, obsessed. Anxiety gets such a strong hold, your hands shake. Eyes twitch. Can’t sleep, can’t study any longer, can’t remember anything read last night. GOSH! LEAVE ME ALL ALONE! That’s a breakdown over here. And you’d better make sure it doesn’t happen in a college library. Because, you know, KEEP SILENCE.
Tomorrow I will do it. Tomorrow comes. Nah, will do it tomorrow! It’s the finals week already. Will do it… Oh, wait a sec… Ima so screwed! Never put off till tomorrow what can you do today, as what them clever men say. For a student about to enter into the year’s examination period, the saying rings truer than ever.
There’s but one thing x2 worse than all the mentioned above drawn together. It’s when Professor Smartypants puts questions on a test which haven’t been mentioned in the study guide. General knowledge? Extracurricular learning? Taking it outside the official course program? Some men just want to watch the world burn.